Wednesday, January 28, 2009

God, I thought I was paranoid.

Lady comes into my office today. Looks normal enough. Little did I know that I was about to be a witness to the strangest conversation of January 28, 2009.

"How can I help you, Ma'am?"

"I actually have a few questions" she replied. "I wanted to know whether you offer antivirus services. Is that something that you do?"

"Yes, that is a service we provide." I mumbled, pointing to the large desk sign listing our prices, with VIRUS AND SPYWARE CLEANUP - $149.99 in huge letters at the top. "Is there anything else that I might be able to assist you with?"

"Well, I was wondering...." she paused for a moment, seemingly unsure of whether she should continue. "I just wondered if you sell, like, one of those things?" She made a motion with her hands as she continued. "One of those things that can jam video cameras. I don't want you to think that I'm crazy or anything."

I stood there, speechless, as she continued. "I just want to make sure I'm completely safe when I go into changing rooms and stuff. You don't sell that kind of stuff, do you?"

Well damn lady, if I could work Hollywood style magic and make every videocamera and microphone in visual range of me black out, I'd be an effing millionaire, and my own best fricking customer. What the hell do you expect me to say to that?

"Uh, you might want to try the spy shop in Ardmore" I stammered. "If anyone has that kind of tech, it would be them."

"Oh, Thank you!" she gushed. "I'll check them out this evening!"

And then she was gone, only the clack of her stilletto boot heels remaining, echoing in my head as she headed down the stairs and out into the cold. What the hell?

I hate stilletto heels.

Tech Pimpin'

An office full of women. Computer issues. Me, the master technician. Them, the damsels in distress. THEY STARTED THE INNUENDOS, NOT ME!

Dirty minded sweet old ladies. Gotta love em.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Causality at its most Chaotic

Just got a stock of Dell Optiplex 360s for a client. I dragged them over to my bench and tried to fire up the first one. Wouldn't boot - just a blinking orange light. I rip the side panel off, and almost immediately, it strikes me that the heatsink isin't quite sitting level with the board. I pull off the whole air-tunnel assembly, remove the heatsink, lift the processor tension clip, and discover........the processor is in backwards. The tech who installed this completely ignored the location of the notches on the processor (The ones that keep the new pinless beauties from Intel from going in backwards) and just shut the tension plate on it anyway. I'm testing it to make sure that the processor hasn't been damaged.

Monday, January 19, 2009

Twitterring the day away.

I signed up for Twitter. I still don't get it.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Insignificant information

My blog is moving. My random musings can now be found at instead of the prior Difficult to spell, isn't it. That was my problem too. I kept forgetting the URL myself, never updated the stupid thing. Hopefully the combination of a new site and new layout will help. Everyone hated my black on red theme. Anyway, I've converted over some of the more recent posts from the old blog site, and until I get the rest ported over, you can find my old posts on the Livejournal page..

Also, a huge thanks to Linux Lore for their Blog2Blog tool. It made conversion from Livejournal to Blogger a snap. You can find them at

AAAAUGH. My crappy Linksys router just crashed.

Friday, January 16, 2009


So, a couple of seconds ago, my Mac started talking to me.  I thought I was insane.  Turns out, Applekey+F5 turns on a voiceover utility.  I almost voluntarily committed myself.

Thursday, January 15, 2009


Sick as all hell, and I have to stay to babysit a technician who can't tell a keyboard from her own bunghole.  I had to educate a technician on Windows rights.  "Oh, you can't do it, eh.  Perhaps its because you need to log in as the administrator to run that function.  Didja think of that?" I'm surrounded by idiots.